Homero Cantu is a real Mexican-American hero. The 70 year old patriotic life-champion performed as a chopper-medic in Vietnam before currently exerting his turbulent energy as a shamanic warlock who eats mangy Diabetes for breakfast with leftover Subway-branded spinach-only sandwiches. HOMER also records the world’s best anti-pop non-music ever invented, under the name of “RIPE and READY”.
HOMER CANTU HAS AMAZING MOTIVATIONAL THINGS TO TELL YOU in the musical content below.
UPDATED 5/12/2015 == OH FUCK. HOMER IS STILL MISSING AGAIN. IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT NURSING HIM HE MAY BE LOCATED AT, PLEASE CONTACT: WombatPooga@yahoo.com STAT…THANKS!
SEE BELOW FOR A FULL RIPE and READY Sexplanation…
Homer recalls a ribald encounter with a lactating whoore in this classic encounter with nude wall art.
07/04/2013 – Homer does his best imitation of Popeye the Sailor Man.
6/9/2013 – Homer makes a special guest cameo in the upcoming episode of CRIBS, featuring the abode of Thrusty Rhodes.
o5/23/2013 – Homer participates in the YouTube video Comedy Week by posting some of his verbal musings on VIMEO.
RIPE and READY — “We All Have to Do It” – The 2010 debut album featuring Homero Cantu:
Ripe and Ready’s debut, We All Have To Do It, is an 8 song musical hallucinogen featuring the original life poetry of 70 year old Vietnam-veteran and Mexican-American, Homero Cantu, mixed with new-age music sampled from tracks sold on CDs that came with Tilex Shower Cleaner. Experience this unique sonic spectacle by clicking ABOVE.
In the snow-drenched Ohio Winter of 2010, the 70 year old Mexican-American, Vietnam-Veteran LIFE POET, Homero Cantu, known simply as Homer, wrote a note to a friend saying that the pineapple he’d been carrying all week for her was “ripe and ready to eat.” Since he hadn’t seen her that week, he gave Thrusty Rhodes the pineapple and note to put by her door so she could enjoy the fruit before it spoiled. Soon after, Homer began writing what he called “skits”, mostly based on observations made in and around Bob’s Bar in Columbus, Ohio…
Homer’s verbal interpretations of his lyrical prose or “skits” were recorded on a Boss 864 8-track which would be edited with new-age instrumental music that was sold with Tilex Shower Cleaner in San Diego over ten years ago in the year 2000. Thrusty added some backing choruses in order to echo some of Homer’s more poignant sentiments. Then, the crafty veteran producer Paul Abbott provided the cosmic production and rhythmic thunder under the sampled Tilex Shower Cleaner music in order to create the first release from Ripe and Ready called “We All Have To Do It”. The 8 song, 30 minute “sonic phenomenon” is a wild excursion into the fascinating mind of the living legend and American war hero, HOMERO CANTU…
Homero Cantu recalls a ribald encounter with a lactating whoore.
HOMER is fed up with Chase Bank and closes his checking account with this fascist entity, way before all the hipster hippies started this trend during Octopussy Wall Street in 2008…
HOMER talks about his manure-spreader invention, until Thrusty ignites a memory inside Homer about a time when he peeping-Tom’d some hotties in the courtyard of his apartments.
HOMER brainstorms ideas for a song about Bob’s Bar and the cantankerous pub-manager, Jimmy. Little did he know that this brainstorm would be used for the real song by Homer’s band, Ripe and Ready, with the sonnet being called, “The Cultural Hub of the Midwest”.
HOMER reveals his frustrations with Jury Duty.
HOMER continues to expound on the trials of Jury Duty
HOMER finishes his sentiments on Jury Duty.
HOMER teaches us how to succeed by trying to read a passage from a motivational calendar titled, “Success”, until it is perfect, thus literally achieving “success” right before your very own eyes.
HOMER talks about how he only just recently received his VIETNAM medals he earned by serving as a chopper-medic in ’69 because he would not re-up after he put in his required time. It took 40 years for America to recognize his heroic deeds. RESPECT is due.
HOMER is quite possibly the only person in the world who can make talking about desks and chairs interesting and entertaining.
HOMER attempts to sing the chorus from the famous En Vogue song, “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)”.