Ripe and Ready = HOMER

Homero Cantu is a real American Mexican-American hero. The 69 year old patriotic champion performed as a chopper medic in Vietnam before currently exerting his turbulent energy as a shamanic warlock  who eats mangy Diabetes for breakfast. He also records the world’s best pop music that America has never seen under the name of “RIPE and READY”. Don’t hate him, cuz u ain’t him. Learn from his magic mushy mashdowns by engaging in the invigorating content below:

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SEE BELOW FOR A FULL RIPE and READY Sexplanation…

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Homer recalls a ribald encounter with a lactating whoore in this classic encounter with nude wall art.

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07/04/2013 – Homer does his best imitation of Popeye the Sailor Man.

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6/9/2013 – Homer makes a special guest cameo in the upcoming episode of CRIBS featuring the abode of Thrusty Rhodes. Check your local listings for TV airings in your area.

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o5/23/2013 – Homer participates in the YouTube video Comedy Week by posting some of his verbal musings on VIMEO.

Homer Dishes the Poop on the Catman from Jam Pon on Vimeo.

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Homer Philosophizes the Actions of an Obese Elderly Dirtbag from Jam Pon on Vimeo.

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Homer Exposes a Child Molesting “Pidopilan” that He Met at Wendys from Jam Pon on Vimeo.

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Homer Talks About a Shitty Pissface from Jam Pon on Vimeo.

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Homer Goes on an Odyssey from Jam Pon on Vimeo.

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Homer on the Limits of Standardized Testing + Eating Cheese from Jam Pon on Vimeo.

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RIPE and READY — “We All Have to Do It” – The 2010 debut album featuring Homero Cantu:

Homero Cantu = The Mexican Mark Twain

Ripe and Ready’s debut, We All Have To Do It, is an 8 song musical hallucinogen featuring the original life poetry of 70 year old Vietnam veteran and Mexican-American, Homero Cantu, mixed with new-age music that was sold on CDs with Tilex Shower Cleaner. Experience this unique sonic spectacle by clicking ABOVE.

In the snow-drenched Ohio Winter of 2010, the 70 year old Mexican-American, Vietnam-Veteran LIFE POET, Homero Cantu, known simply as Homer, wrote a note to a friend saying that the pineapple he’d been carrying all week for her was “ripe and ready to eat.” Since he hadn’t seen her that week, he gave Thrusty Rhodes the pineapple and note to put by her door so she could enjoy the fruit before it spoiled. Soon after, Homer began writing what he called “skits” mostly based on observations made in and around Bob’s Bar in Columbus, Ohio…

Homer’s verbal interpretations of his lyrical prose or “skits” were recorded on a Boss 864 8-track which would be edited with new-age instrumental music that was sold with Tilex Shower Cleaner in San Diego over ten years ago in the year 2000. Thrusty added some backing choruses in order to echo some of Homer’s more poignant sentiments. Then, the crafty veteran producer Paul Abbott provided the cosmic production and rhythmic thunder under the sampled Tilex Shower Cleaner music in order to create the first release from Ripe and Ready called “We All Have To Do It”. The 8 song, 30 minute “sonic phenomenon” is a wild excursion into the fascinating mind of the living legend and American war hero, HOMERO CANTU

Homero Cantu = The Mexican Mark Wahlberg

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Homero Cantu recalls a ribald encounter with a lactating whoore.

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HOMER is fed up with Chase Bank and closes his checking account with them way before all the hipster hippies started this trend.

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HOMER talks about his manure spreader invention until Thrusty ignites a memory inside Homer about a time when he peeping-Tom’d some hotties in the courtyard of his apartments.

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HOMER brainstorms ideas for a song about Bob’s Bar and the cantankerous manager of the bar, Jimmy. Little did he know that this brainstorm would be used for the real song by Homer’s band, Ripe and Ready, called, “The Cultural Hub of the Midwest”.

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HOMER reveals his frustrations with Jury Duty.

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HOMER continues to expound on the trials of Jury Duty

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HOMER finishes his sentiments on Jury Duty.

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HOMER teaches us how to succeed by trying to read a passage from a motivational calendar titled, “Success”, until it is perfect, thus literally achieving “success” right before your very own eyes.

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HOMER talks about how he only just recently received his VIETNAM medals he earned by serving as a chopper medic because he would not re-up after he put in his required time. It took 40 years for America to recognize his heroic deeds. RESPECT is due.

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HOMER is quite possibly the only person in the world who can make talking about desks and chairs interesting and entertaining.

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HOMER attempts to sing the chorus to the famous En Vogue song, “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)”.

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